Juggling the Madness

It was an hour after one of the most legendary music shows in recent Japanese history had finished at Liquid Room in Ebisu, and I was sitting in a small Okinawan haunt by my hotel in Shibuya with my manager Tani. We both were sitting there trying to absorb the night. The likes of EYE, Cornelius, and Shugo Tokumaru had taken the stage that night, but I had only witnessed a fragment of it because of the madness I was juggling.

 

The truth is that I have been juggling madness for the better part of a year to see this happen, and now that it was over, I had no idea what to take from it. Tani is a legend in the Japanese music business. Ever since the Blue Hearts took him from being a young aspiring filmmaker to being their manager 30 years ago he has seen everything and put out all kinds of fires. I could tell by his demeanor that this was unlike anything he had ever seen.

 

It has been 11 years since I met Bruce Bickford, and my life has changed dramatically since than. I have helped with numerous events back home, a couple times in Europe and now three major art shows and epic concerts in Japan, but its difficult for me to put into any kind of perspective. As much as an undertaking like this takes a ton of planning, logistics and creative solutions, in the end my biggest concern is the man himself. I can't count how many times along the way I had to stop and simply say, "Bruce...are you ok?".

The answer to that is always a complicated one. A few months ago, right when we were on the brink of finalizing the details, it seemed like Bruce may not be able to make the two trips to Japan and only do the February event. This would mean that he would not appear himself at the Takamatsu Media Arts Festival in the Kagawa Prefecture. This would also mean gravely disappointing our friend Ukawa Naohiro, the famed video artist, leader of Dommune and director of the festival. That was something none of us wanted to do.

The first person I turned to at the time was Tani and he explained to me what could potentially be at risk. I sat for a moment and thought. It was mere hours before Masako and I were going to be flying back to SF and we were in a Denny's in Ikegami. I was sitting across from one of the loves of my life, my niece Amaruchan who was scribbling on her placemat with crayons. It was hard to gauge what was deeper, my admiration of her or my envy of the simplicity of her concerns.

I excused myself and went outside to call Bruce. I explained to him what we were facing. He agreed to try both trips, but was clear that he could offer no guarantees. That was something that I did not need to be told. If there is anything I have learned over my experience with Bruce, it is that there is no such thing as a guarantee, and if this was going to work, I would have to be more creative than ever.

"I like it when I get into trouble, it makes me feel alive," said Tani, as we were now the last people in the restaurant. I was a few days away, from fully completing the mission and the biggest question was, what happens next? Bruce received more adulation and fanfare here than I had ever expected, but his future traveling is uncertain at best. We both have made lives out of dealing with difficult people and situations, but Tani is more spirited than I am at this point.

 

For me, this has never been a business venture, it has been a mission to conquer one of my worst fears. The first time I saw the archive of Bruce's work in the garage in Seattac, I had no idea what to make of it. Meticulous, genius, difficult, and overwhelming were all adjectives I would use, but I was also heartbroken. I knew Bruce's work from being a huge fan of Frank Zappa, and although he had a brush with notoriety decades ago, it was hard to grasp that something like this could happen. It was a difficult time and place for me and I had no idea where my life was going to go, but I knew one thing. I had to help.

With Bruce, I have had some minor victories and some major defeats, and the work we have done in Japan is definitely my crowning achievement, yet, I can't help but feel conflicted.  I made some serious mistakes. I spent more time in Japan than at home in the last five months and a lot of time away from the person who matters most, my wife Masako. I wondered several times if I had made a mistake by agreeing to this job. It was a huge risk from the beginning, but I felt like it was more of a risk to not do it and wonder what could have happened.

The Takamatsu Media Arts festival was one of the most difficult events I have ever taken part in. The weather, stress and long days caused my immune system to collapse at one point. I was truly moved by my guys Tani and Nobu missing the opening night celebrations to take care of me. If nothing else, the show itself was beautiful and a once in a lifetime event.

 

Japan is my second home. It is a place that I deeply love and my family there are incredibly special to me. I was able to see them a good number of times over the course of this final trip and each time left me longing for something that I can't quite place. My mother in law is a beautiful and creative person and she made a home made goodie bag for Bruce that wasn't quite ready at his opening at Yamamoto Gendai Gallery in Shirogane.

 

 

The day we were leaving was also Bruce's birthday and he would be the same age as her. Because of this, she felt a special connection to him. I told her I would come to the house the next day in Ikegami where she was babysitting Amaruchan.

 

The public transit route that I always take several times on my visits, I only took once this time. It is a 20 minute train ride and 10 minute walk to the house. I spent about a half hour there with Momma and Amaruchan, who is deep in the difficult age of 2 and only acknowledges me at her convenience. If she's not feeling it, I can't get her attention to save my life. It's ok, I am taking a detailed log in which I will be calling her out for it later in life.

 

We went and saw my brother in law Hide (pronounced He-day) at his garage a few blocks away. He was getting a car ready to sell and we spent a few minutes saying our goodbyes. Whenever I leave, goodbyes take a while. I was almost gone at the end of the block, when I turned around to wave. Amaruchan ran all the way down the street towards me but stopped about five feet from me. I knelt down and opened up my arms for a hug, but she turned and ran back. Its ok......I'll remember that.

I finally managed to turn the corner and I was lucky to be wearing dark glasses. The waterworks turned on in full force as I walked towards the street I have come to know so well, Ikegami Dori. It is strange to see an American in these parts, but a crying American? It happened for a million reasons, none of which I could properly explain but I had one more important stop to make.

I walked up to the office of Subaru Construction and the front gate was closed but my father in law's car was there. I went around the side and found the door open. We talked for a few moments and I hugged him goodbye. This is a man that I owe much too.

Many years ago, when Masako told him that she was going to marry an American, he was not happy. In fact, he was very not happy. I can't blame him. The fact that he was able to overcome his desire for her to marry somebody from Japan and be close to him and not only accept me but embrace me is something that is nowhere near lost on me. I have no idea how and why I was able to end up with her, but I can't imagine it not have happening. She has constantly amazed me and I sometimes wonder why she wanted to stay here with a genuine conflicted weirdo. In his own unique way, Tani was able to shed some light on this by cutting in on my lamenting as the hour grew late in Shibuya.

Tani...a wise old owl

"Aaron, your my friend so I am going to be really honest with you. Forget all the things that you know and do, maybe your actual gift is that people love you and they need you".

Bruce was struggling hard on our last day. He spent the entire day in bed trying to battle major congestion and a pounding skull. Me and the guys had planned some pretty elaborate and inappropriate things for his birthday, but they were now going to be out the window and getting him home seemed to be like it was going to be the biggest challenge of all. At Haneda airport, we walked towards the security gate and I was depleted physically and mentally as I spoke with Tani.

"I was thinking about what you said, about how you feel alive when are in trouble....isn't that what we did here?" I paused, "I've been in trouble since we started this thing".

Tani was a lot more lighthearted and said with a smile, "You can create something, be somebody's manager, or somebody's friend, but the important thing is that you did it and nobody died".

To which I simply say, "......yet......"

Adopted Son of the East

Some years ago, I was in the section of Central Park in front of the Helmsley Hotel with Kenneth Anger and a "friend" of his named Jay. The reason "friend" is in quotes is because I could not figure out why this guy was hanging out with us. Kenneth seemed to hate him.  A while earlier we were at the after party for the New York film festival which had just had a night honoring Kenneth and his films. Jay managed to annoy the hell out of everyone he came in contact with including myself, Albert Maysels and Sylvia Myles. (this opening paragraph is absolutely ridiculous on the name dropping end, but what the hell.)

Dr. Anger and I at the Helmsley Hotel, NYC 2006

After arguing over the historical significance of some statue that was donated by William Randolph Hearst to the park, Anger chided Jay over his ignorance and then said, "History happens to be everything, and if you don't know it your just an asshole".

Masako and Sudosan circa 1971

The problem with the past is that it is everything to some degree. It is what we are forged from and in my particular case it is a caged animal. Sometimes I forget that I am not supposed to get so close to the cage. I have spent a great deal of time with therapists trying to sort out why it is that I just see childhood as pure unadulterated horror. Every once in a while when talking memories with somebody in my family, I realize that they didn't see things the way I did, and they actually thought everything was ok. In the case of my good buddy Tacorda, he has managed a way to sort out and eliminate all the things that don't work for him. 

I really got to thinking about this when Hide and Yuka took us to this "store" the other night. It is the first time I have seen hoarding done as a profession. We got out of the car and talked to the lady. Yuka actually charmed the pants off her, telling her that she has great skin for her age. She wanted outrageous amounts of money for things (The equivalent of $10 for a used bottle, $5 for a ragged old doll). 

I somehow found this enchanting. I tried to get glimpses of the sides of the building to tell how deep it was. Does she have any way into this labyrinth of refuse? Is there anything of value in there? How does she manage to finance this place?

Sometimes my mind is like this shop. To find the objects of value, a ton of dead weight needs to be sorted through. Tokyo, the great cavalcade of sensory stimulation, can trigger a lot of things in there. 

I remember watching the breakfast club when I was a lot younger and finding all kinds of angsty truth in the different characters. I don't think I will ever watch that movie again just because of the dance sequence alone, but now being much older my favorite part of the movie has nothing to do with the kids. There is a scene where the janitor and the principal are hanging out talking and the principal asks the janitor what he wanted to be when he grew up. When he says "John Lennon", the principal says, "Don't be a fucking goof Carl".

I think why this still resonates with me today is because that scene was about two guys wondering if what they ended up being is what they could have ever imagined as a child. The truth is that when I was a kid I wanted to be Jimmy Page when I grew up. 

At 17, playing music was the most important thing to me on earth. It represented so many things to me, but mostly it meant being truly good at something. It also seemed like a true weapon for battling the horrors of youth and the friendships that I have that are the strongest are those that are somehow related to the creation of it. 

The other night we spent a good while looking through a bunch of photo albums that Masako's mom brought out. There was picture after picture of Masako behind the piano performing beginning at the age of 5.

Age 5

Age 7

Age 11

Age 15

We then got to the pics where there were these large orchestras of kids on vibraphones, flutes, accordions, and drums. She asked to find her in the pic and after a few scans I said, "Is that you on piano?". For the record there was only one piano, and, yes, it is her (She is the farthest person in the back).

Masako in full Rick Wakeman Form

Another pic shows her as the only bass player in a large group of musicians. These are things that I have been told about in the past. I guess that just seeing this blows my mind now. She will be the first to tell you that she may be a bit rusty, but give her an your to practice and you will quickly find out that there is some mastery under those fingers.

For once, Tacorda is not on Bass

                           

The biggest time of the year in the Ikegami neighborhood is the Oeshiki festival. It is something that I have heard about for a long time but have never been here this time year. This festival started as a funeral procession for the founder of this religion and is over 500 years old.The procession goes by the folks' office and continues all the way up to the temple. The folks set up chairs and tables, there is a ton of food, and a lot of people and friends drop in throughout the night. Being an audio/video Otaku I was wired to the gils, and was recording and filming the different drum groups all night long.

It gave me the same feeling as the time that I got to see Crash Worship years ago. At first the cacophonous sounds and rhythms are a bit disorienting, but quickly find their way into your bones and never quite leave. Of course the nudity, debauchlery and element of shear terror that made Crash Worship such a beautiful experience were absent here, but the beauty of this experience was also undeniable.

After couple of hours, a bunch of us decided to make the walk to the temple, which is only about a mile, but takes over an hour with all the crowds and madness. We came across Hide's friend's drum group and when he pointed me out they invited me in, gave me a drum and I played with them until we got to the foot of the stairs. It was nothing short of magical.

I flashed back to years ago in Mexico City walking through the neighborhood of Coyoacan by myself. All of a sudden a bunch of Hare Krishnas flew out of nowhere and surrounded me playing a beat on drums and bells and I walked with them for about a mile, amazed that it was happening. (For the record, they weren't bald krishnas with strange braided ponytails, but just a bunch of mexican hippies)

We climbed the stairs and made our way into the temple where we were able to play drums with the monk. It was heavy, and the sound was incredible. I later said that if I had found this by myself, I probably would have sat there entranced until it ended hours later.

When we got back things were winding down and only a few drunken friends were still scattered about. My good friend Okoyamasan was there and after he left I had a moment with my wife. 

I am starting to feel the sadness of having to go home that always comes when I have less than 24 hours left. This time things were much different to me. When were here last year I truly felt that this place was now my home and that I am part of this family for the long haul. This time, Tokyo is no longer that foreign to me. It is the one place I have ever been where I feel at ease, and feeling at ease is not something that comes easily to me. I find that particularly strange because it is a place where communication is extremely challenging and awkwardness happens on an almost daily basis. That ease obviously has a lot to do with the woman who I am sitting across from, with tears starting to swell in my eyes.

What I said to her is that coming and going from a place like Japan, I could see it seeming like you may have missed something. Most of my friends have been here and a lot of people dream of coming here and when they do, they have very different experiences but all come a way with a lot of love for the people, the culture and the place itself. All I know is that my experience with this country has so far been one where I no longer feel like a tourist. I am getting to see this place from a truly unique perspective and I could not be more grateful.

Very serious and very straight, looking at me as I say these things Masako says, "That's because I'm from here".

It took a second, but this launched us both into laughter. 

That is who she is to me. Masako is the person that doesn't allow me off the rails. The aforementioned horrors of youth have no place in her world and every time I seem to be going in that direction, she is there to make things simple. God only knows how much I need that. I try and do the right thing, I really do, but sometimes other things get in the way. Each and every time, she is there to at least suggest to me what the right thing is. 

I may not understand what is being said all the time, but I sure as hell can tell how much people here respect her. I would like to think that part of that has to do with how she left and made a life for herself with me in the states. It is not something that a lot of folks from her neck of the woods do. Respect is transferable, and because of her, the way I am treated is unbelievable.

Where I am going with all of this is that when I was 17 and thought that music was the only thing that I was going to do with my life, I could have never imagined these things that are happening now. Whatever that dream was has evolved and I guess the only part of the Jimmy Page dream that has come true is the sloppy guitar playing and wobbly friendship with Kenneth Anger. I decided it was better to marry a rock star.

Take a bow babe

The day before we left for Japan, Masako came home from work to find this on the wall. She had no idea it was coming and I still think she wonders why I did it. Maybe after reading this she will understand. 

I am a much different person than I was five years ago and much has to do with her and her breathtaking homeland.

After packing, and getting my haircut by Yuka, we headed back to Ikegami for one last dinner with the family. Shabu Shabu is always a good choice. Everyone said I looked tired, I think I was just more sad than anything else. Leaving this time is especially tough. Like I said before, I may be a foreigner here, but this place is no longer foreign to me. 

We were running late and sped through the night to Haneda airport. We were in Hide's jeep and Masako's parents followed closely behind us. It is perfectly legal to have an in dash dvd player that plays while you drive (totally awesome I must add) and we played one of the Yellow Magic Orchestra discs that Sudosan hooked me up with on the way. 

In Japan, it's all handshakes and bows, but from me to this group, it is all big hugs. 

Until next time........as always.....

...I love you Japan...

Higher Knowledge

In this modern world, the argument of who thought of what first is always going to exist. No matter what kind of revolutionary breakthrough comes through today, there is always going to be the guy in a shed somewhere who had thought of it yesterday. I suspect that this argument is even more so in a place like Tokyo, where I suspect that there are a lot of dream projects being forged in the smallest crevices of tiny apartments throughout the city.

No trip to Japan would be complete without some time with Yuichi. After all, this a man who has been a main subject in my artistic endeavors over the past 5 years. Hide was set to pick us up to day to visit the massive new Skytree across town and he told Masako that Yuchan (Yuichi) had come by the office and was very upset that nobody had called him over the weekend to come hang out with me. He had developed a new piece of technology and had one for me, but must discuss in private. Word had it that he had made some sort of camera. This was insanely intriguing.

We look like we are signed to sub pop in 94'

Hide, Yuka, Masako and I made the journey across town to the massively popular new Skytree. At Tokyo Tower you are able to go up 250 meters, but at Skytree you are able to go up a whopping 450 meters. It is the largest tower of it's kind on earth and it is massively popular. The lines were enormous, but they had a system where you could get a ticket to come back at a certain time and that would advance you to the front of the ticketing line, but from there it was easily another half hour to the first observation deck. This gave us some time for some great Katsu at the new enormous mall that is at the base of the towers. 

Green tea soda float

The elevator was big and fast and your ears pressurize quickly as you climb up. Once you are up there, it is all ooohs and aaahs.

Being a window washer at Skytree is not for the faint of heart

We were ambitious of course and thought that we would blast through sky tree in a couple hours, and meet Masako's cousin Shuhei over in Ginza to go pen shopping. At a certain point I told her we will need to postpone with him. Skytree is an all day affair at this point and after 6 hours we started on our way home. 

Skytree at night

When asked which I liked better, I had to say that Tokyo Tower was a lot easier because of the smaller tourist draw, but Skytree is amazing of course. To be honest, I'm a little towered out at this point. Let's get some pizza at that joint that we went to last time we were here.

This pizza had bison mozzarella on it

We got dropped off at Yuchan's lab and it turns out that he had made his own steadicam. That is not exactly a new thing, but his take on it was very cool and well made. Unfortunately, my cameras are all too heavy for this particular model but I took a couple home and they are a few mods away from working.

Yuchan's steadicam

Later that night when discussing Yuchan with Sudosan, he told us about a friend of his who claims to have invented many things before they came out commercially. I get the sense that there is a lot of bitterness because of this. A few of his inventions included the use of a motor istead of belt drive on the turntable, the car with an engine for each wheel and, one that he actually made himself at home, the sperm freezer. 

Yes, you did read that right………………..gotta love the Japanese.

True Shame

Karasu uri - Crow Squash

This legendary inedible vegetable is named after the bird because of its uselessness. The crow is seen as a large pest that has no function but to annoy, and this vegetable may look beautiful but has absolutely no purpose. It cannot be eaten and will siege and destroy your garden by it's rapid growth if you are not careful, much like the Crow.

useless, yet rumored to be magical

Although, this annoying plant is widely regarded as being useless, it is rumored to have magical powers. Athletes believe if it is broken open and rubbed on the back of the calves that it will give the runner extra speed. I suspect this to "be buta o ara u". 

Japanese translation: washing pig

Rural American translation: hogwash/malarky

Common translation: horseshit

I must admit I was a little ambitious on this trip. I brought a ton of work with me with a ton of goals and I have actually met some of them. The only problem is that Japan is outside, and staying in and working or even writing this blog are cumbersome efforts. It is already half way through the second week and I have met so many people, eaten some amazing food and now I am teetering on the brink of the major festival that happens here in Ikegami (where Masako's parents live). 

We spent a few hours in my beloved Akihabara with Sudosan (Masako's dad) and my good friend and fellow Rush enthusiast Okayamisan. The news had come down earlier that Rush are finally gonna be in the rock and roll hall of fame and we discussed the news as I photographed the maids who were out in force today (and were not so happy about being photographed in a few cases). Explaining the maid thing is something that I am not equipped to do, but from what I know they are trying to coax the Otaku (nerds) in to "maid cafes" where they can be served drinks and snacks by girls dressed as baby doll French maids. This is likely the only female contact they will ever have. I have actually heard that there is even a place for Otaku who are too shy for actually girls and can be graced with the presence of a fake one for the afternoon.

The second one from the left got pissed at me for taking a pic

While we are on the subject of weird and creepy, I stumbled across a DVD section of anime in one of the little electronics alley ways in Akihabara. After looking at a few of them and being a little confused, I then noticed the 18+ sign above me. I will spare you the details but I will say this. This stuff makes American hardcore pornography look like Baby Mozart. Needless to say, I bought as much as I could carry.

Minor Rush Tangent: I can already see Eyad's eyes rolling but I have something to say (First of all, Eyad, John Rutsey was not a better drummer). I will admit that the rock n' roll hall of fame is almost as meaningless as the oscars and the grammys combined (although it still ranks above the American presidency in importance). If any one does, Rush deserve to be there in there. Guns and Roses are in there off of making one good record. The Chili Peppers (known in Japan as Rechiri) are in there……wait, now that I think about it…….forget it…………..

Late that night we went to eat Yakiniku (BBQ) with the extended family in this little restaurant that we went to last time we were here. We had two clay BBQ's on our table and although the place has a pretty elaborate ventilation system, at a certain point it was as if there was no ventilation at all and the restaurant was engulfed in smoke. It was like we were in the middle of the demon sequence in Kuosawa's Dreams. There is no way your clothes will survive this, but that is the price you pay. I made a comment that for a place where there is molten fire on every table, the restaurant had zero fire alarms. This is nothing short of awesome.

On Monday (which is a national sports holiday) Hide, Masako and I drove to Kokubunji to see some more extended family. When we stopped at a gas station I got a picture that is arguably a career best.

I call this one "True Shame"

In Kokubunji, we were greeted warmly by a bunch of Masako's cousins, aunts, uncle's and their very entertaining children. We were trying to get here earlier this year when Masako's cousin Mina was living in this house terminally ill with cancer at the age of 49. Unfortunately, we were not able to and she passed some months back. Her father told Masako of how hard it was for him, but it seems like this younger generation has made the healing process easier. 

Hibiki,  Megu, Ichi and Koto

As always, the lunch spread was just outrageous. Yakitori, Jumbo Shrimp, Sushi, Fried Cheese, Kare Age (Japanese Fried Chicken), potato salad and Pizza!!

I had met Masako's cousin Chiga and her daughter Hibiki a few years back when they were in San Francisco during one of our stretches of horrible weather. After they came to the house for lunch we took them over to the Walt Disney Family Museum but by the time we got there Hibiki was passed out asleep in the back seat. Chiga wanted to buy something in the gift shop but didn't know what to do. I said that I would stay with Hibiki and that she and Masako could go in. 

So there I was, trying to stay dead silent and not wake this child who I would not be able to speak with while it was gushing rain outside the car. It was probably only 10-15 minutes but it seemed like an eternity. Every time the child stirred I looked in the rearview mirror with grave concern. Luckily she never woke up. I brought that story up with Chiga and she said that because of Hibiki's nap that day, she did not sleep at all during the entire flight home that night to Japan. She said that with a sigh as if she was still exhausted from it.

The evening concluded with a sushi dinner with the family at home. We bought this spread at a grocery store on the way home. 

You ain't finding this at trader joe's

The next day we went for a hike…..IN A HOTEL!!!

I would be hard pressed to think of another hotel that I have been in that is more beautiful than The Gajoen Hotel in Meguro. It is an ancient building that has been renovated and turned into a modern state of the art hotel, leaving certain remnants of the past behind.

Even the bathroom is a thing of beauty

The outdoor Koi pond has a path where you can hike up behind a waterfall. At a certain point it didn't seem like you were in the middle of Tokyo at all. 

Stay tuned for the next exciting episode: SKYTREE!!!