NIHON!!!

If you live in a hub of culinary douchebaggery and pretention like we do, and you have a bad meal, it is most likely your own fault. That is exactly what happened last Saturday in Japan town when Masako, two of her coworkers (one which is also named Masako) and myself ventured deeper into Japan town after seeing an anime movie at the Viz cinema. After having a downright strange experience with the wait staff at one restaurant, we went to a nearby joint popular for all you can eat shabu shabu. 

It was one of those rare occasions when I didn't order Shabu and got something else off the menu and everyone else got some sort of curry. The curry was later described as "worse than school lunch in Japan" by the other Masako. I am not going to say which restaurant this culinary land mine is, but all I will say is that if you are looking for good Japanese food in SF, avoid Japan town at all costs. As far as I know there are two restaurants worth eating at there and Benihana is one of them. I guess that going there was a good idea less than 24 hours before leaving for Japan, just so I could have some real contrast in the food department .

There was a large group behind us in he corner which appeared to be aging frat boys and they could not have been more obnoxious. Sometimes I wonder if life would be a lot easier if I lived each day as if nobody else in the world existed and how you presented yourself was something that should be of no concern. That must be the influence of being married to a Japanese woman for nearly 5 years. You save face at all costs.

At one point a few of the aging, drunken frat boys appeared to get up and go to the bathroom. I said that if I was to follow them I could imagine a scene in which I was accosted like I was one of the betas in Revenge of the Nerds. 

"What's up with this hair, wimp?…" is what I hear as my glasses are removed and smashed. I then realize I am day dreaming about bad 80's heavy metal videos when nerds were always on the wrong end of the social spectrum until a shrieking mediocre guitar player dressed like a confederate soldier doused in glitter sporting a perm comes to the rescue. The strange thing is that we used to look up to these guys because we knew they were the ones getting the chics. Come to think of it, I often ponder why in the 80's there was this battle between the nerds and the jocks until I realize that this is just what we have come to know as bullying and it was not exclusive to the 80's. 

Come to think of it, and as the last paragraph proves, I am quite often pondering some downright ridiculous shit.

I used to look up to dudes like this

So I find myself having a much better meal two days later on the flight from LA to Tokyo (seriously, that's how bad the food was the other night). I now understand why it was nearly a grand cheaper to fly from LA instead of direct from SF. Not including the layover down south, leaving from LA tacks on an extra 2 hours to the overall flight time. The reason why it is less expensive is because there are nearly double the amount of flights from LA each day than there are from SF. This all being said, I would have still gone the same route. When we landed, it felt like my knees had been pounded by the dwarves in the horrendous movie I was watching using a tiny rubber mallet. A small price to pay to be back in Japan.

Breakfast is a bit different here. After a perfectly cooked egg with tomatoes, onions and what has become known as "cheesy bread", we had some raw shrimp that were sent fresh from Yuka's mom Tai Chan in Nagoya. You heard me right, these shrimp are completely uncooked and you eat the body only after eating the brains and the roe that surround the shell.

No cooking necessary

At Masako's parent's office I was amazed at the size of the three gold fish in the tank. I have pictures of this tank from four years ago and there were many more of them back then but now there are only these three. These are feeder fish that cost about a quarter a piece. They not only survived, but are absolutely thriving and have even reproduced. Somehow, animals live a long time with this family. It's no secret actually, it's all about the love.

Fat and Happy Fish (smokes are for size reference)

Speaking of pampered and adored animals, later at Yodobashi Camera in Kawasaki (one of the greatest stores on earth) I found that Bubba is still huge in this part of the world. I need to speak with his reps. Where the hell is my cut?

Bub is a bankable star

Dinner at the folks' place was amazing. Imported beef, giant clams (both imported from Nagoya), chicken, veggies and guts were grilled mid table in the dining room.

these giant clams are native to Nagoya

Japanese beef is nothing short of amazing

The next day, I was dropped of at a gym in Kamata while Masako went across town to get her hair done by Yuka. It was the first time I was left on my own in this city for an extended period of time and needed to make my way back. The gym was interesting, expensive and small but I was most looking forward to getting some lap swimming in. After an hour in the gym, when I made my way to the pool I found out something that I already knew. Tattoos are not welcome in pools and hot springs for the most part. I was allowed to swim, but had to wear my running shirt. I was then reprimanded for not going in the proper order of rotation in the massage pool (this is way too much and way too boring to explain). 

I got dressed and was making my way out, and noticed a table where you could leave a comment. I felt annoyed and bitchy about the swim stuff, so I went ahead and left an annoying and bitchy note. Hell, even if they translate it, I doubt they will understand what the hell I'm talking about.

Please save the snarky comments, I know this note sucks

I ventured out into the night in Kamata, and walked around for two hours by myself, lost in the wonder that is Tokyo at night. Today happens to be my in-laws 42nd wedding anniversary so I stopped in one of the amazing sweets and bakery marketplaces to buy some gourmet chocolates for them.

Kamata at night

After a bit of confusion and language barrier defying cel phone calls, I made my way back to Ikegami station where Masako was standing there waiting for me. Yuka did a hell of a job on her hair. Tonight is gonna be sushi night with the family. 

Tokyo, is officially my second home. Stay tuned.